Haiku to you!

A few years ago the email below went around our office. It prompted my boss to start emailing his instructions in haiku. There are times I think that the author of the Dilbert cartoons takes his inspiration directly from my work-life. Naturally, I had to rise to the challenge – along with one of my colleagues. It went on for about a week before he kinda admitted defeat by telling us – in haiku – to quit the messing and get back to work. Unfortunately, we can’t find any of the haiku we sent each other. He retired last year and we searched everywhere so that we could include them in a parting gift; but to no avail. The search turned up the original email and the haiku has been close to my heart ever since.

If you’d like to write your own haiku check out my Ban-zai Bonanza Post and put it in the comments. The entries to date have all been about the joys (or otherwise) of knitting socks. But yours could be about anything. The ones included below might give you some inspiration.

It’s a Give-away so by entering you’re in with a chance to win the prize which I’ll draw – by random number generator so it’s not a competition on quality or technique – on St. Stephen’s Day (26th December 2009) and send off by year-end. 

Joke Email re: Haiku

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules – each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the third.

They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Aren’t these better than “Your computer has performed an illegal operation”?

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
First snow, then silence
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.
 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
 
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
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One Response to “Haiku to you!”

  1. Sinéad Says:

    I have to try this Haiku. If only so I can see if I can be disciplined enough to keep a message that short and succint!


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